Reparation
by csigal1976
Summary: Summary – Greg shocks Grissom with a bit of news that challenges him to repair the things he has done, the choices he has made, and the damage done to his heart. Terrible summary, sorry.
1. Chapter 1

Reparation

Rating – M, just to be safe…but that won't be until later

WIP

Summary – Greg shocks Grissom with a bit of news that challenges him to repair the things he has done, the choices he has made, and the damage done to his heart.

Terrible summary, sorry.

Disclaimer – Obviously not mine! If they were, they would be on their own spinoff series about Geek love and Geek babies.

Reparation

CH 1

Tonight was a night that Greg Sanders was positively dreading. As a general rule, he wasn't afraid of Grissom. He had respect for him. Admired him. Understood his horrible mood swings and despicable funk that he had been in for well over a year. Hell, he too had felt the loss and hadn't quite wrapped his mind or emotions around it. But he didn't fear the man. Tonight, however, he was terrified.

He gripped the envelope in his hand, sweaty with anxiety and quietly lumbered his way to the supervisor's office.

Despite arriving an hour before shift, he knew that Grissom would be there. And that his colleagues were unlikely to be…the reason he chose this discreet time. He knocked softly on the frame when he reached the office and Grissom looked up from his mountain of paperwork, glasses perched on the end of his nose.

"Hey, Griss. Do you, uh, do you have a minute?"

Grissom motioned him in and stared in confusion as Greg shut the door quietly behind him and nervously slouched in the chair opposite him. Wanting to give the younger CSI some time and space for something he was obviously dreading, Grissom approached slowly.

"You're here awfully early tonight, Greg."

"Uh, yeah. I…yeah…"

His hesitation piqued Grissom's interest even further, but he still did not push. Minutes dragged on as Greg sat across from him, unsure how to begin, eyes flitting briefly to Grissom and then away.

"Greg…is everything okay? How was the conference?"

"Well, that is what I wanted to talk to you about Well, kind of."

"Okay…"

"I, uh, well you know I signed up for the session on forensic photography. And I tool my department camera with me."

"Yeah, I remember…"

"Well, they gave us some fantastic techniques and tips…it was really great. And, they sent us out to take pictures in and around the neighborhood of the university."

"That sounds great. But if you are going to tell me something happened to your camera, you are going to need to fill out an equipment incident report and submit it to Ecklie."

Seeing that Grissom was obviously unprepared for what was coming, Greg again became quiet, unsure how to proceed. After another moment of two of silene, Grissom again spoke.

"Greg…it's okay. Accidents happen-"

"No…it's, it's not that." Taking a deep breath, he hesitantly continued. "I…there is a small park there at the university. Playground, small pond, walking paths. Seemed like a suitable location, so I walked around there taking photos. And then I saw something that…I wasn't quite expecting. Someone."

"Greg…" Grissom's guard was up, immediately on alert as the anxiety coiled in the pit of his stomach. Greg slowly slid the envelope across the desk to him.

His hand reached the envelope, grasping and sliding it the remaining distance and into his possession. Grissom gently opened the metal clasp and then the flap of the envelope, sliding a thin stack of 8x10 photographs out onto the desk in front of him. His breath immediately froze in his chest, his heart clenching.

She was beautiful. He had always thought so. _Sara_. She had turned his world upside from the moment he had met her, all those years ago. She entered with a flurry into his life, upending his routine and his heart. And she left in equal fashion, destroying his meager life and tearing an irreparable hole in his heart when she left a little over a year ago. He knew he wasn't blameless in that, but he was a broken man, nonetheless.

For what seemed like years, Grissom stared, unspeaking at the photo, until finally he whispered, "How is she?"

"Um, I…I never spoke to her." At Grissom's questioning gaze, Greg immediately piped up, "Look at the next photo."

Grissom slid the top photo off and onto the desk revealing a photo that both shocked him and scared the hell out of him. He stared at another photo of Sara. Her hair was longer than he had remembered seeing it in a long time. It was highlighted and sun-kissed around the edges. She was smiling. She was happy. And…she was holding a baby.

He didn't know what to say. How to feel. How to react. So he said nothing. He sat staring, mesmerized by the sight of it. Finally, Greg spoke, breaking the tension and silence in the room.

"I was shocked. I mean, a baby? Sara? At first I thought maybe it wasn't her kid, you know. Maybe she was babysitting or something. But…well, I watched her for a while. From a distance. She loves that baby. It's hers. And –"

"Greg… why the hell are you showing me this?" Grissom boomed from across the desk, startling the younger man. Grissom's unease was quickly being replaced by anger. He didn't want to feel any of this. He didn't want to feel anything, period. He had given up on that when Sara left. Why was Greg doing this to him?

"I…_Look_ at him Grissom! Look at his face! The sandy brown hair. The blue eyes. The dimpled chin. Come on! You may think you fooled everyone, but I am not stupid. She was my friend, and I loved her too. And something happened. Before she left she was broken. And then she left here so quickly, barely said goodbye to any of us, and never looked back. That is not Sara. We were like family. We _were_ a family. And she just left?! No way." As he talked on and on Grissom sat watching him, absorbing his rapid-fire, barbed words, without a thought to interrupt the impassioned man. "Something happened. And funny thing is, Griss, at the same damn time, you started acting funny. Moodier than normal. More pissed off. More miserable. You weren't the same person right before she left, and never have been since. And you want to know why? Because something happened between you two. I knew it. And now I know _exactly_ what happened. Because I look at her son, Grissom, and do you know what I see? I see you. I see your son."

Holy shit. He stared into the face of Sara's baby…his baby? No. Absolutely not. He couldn't be. Could he? She would have told him. Wouldn't she? But…he did look like him. A lot. In fact, he could recall a fairly similar picture of his mother holding him as a baby. You probably couldn't tell the difference between the two infants if you held the pictures next to each other. But…there was no way. How old was her baby anyway? 6 months? 5 months? He was never good at that kind of thing. Did the math work out? He couldn't think straight enough to compute 2 plus 2 at this point let alone extrapolate a probable conception date. No, this was not his son. Sara would not do that to him.

"Greg…you really don't know what you are talking about-"

"Save it, Grissom. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know. I know enough already. You hurt her and she left. That's on you. But, I thought that you deserved to know. No matter what happened, no matter how it ended, no matter how shitty you were to her, you have a right to know this."

Greg stood, then, looking back at Grissom as he moved to the door. "Keep them. And do what you have to do. I just thought you should know." And with that, he left Grissom with a bewildered look on his face and the beginnings of a killer migraine.

Thoughts? feedback? I would LOVE to hear it! It has been a long time since I have written or read any GSR, but this one just popped into my head.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

Later in the shift, with migraine in full swing, Grissom ambled back to his office, having logged in the evidence from the trick roll he had elected to take. He knew his mind was too muddled to handle a case with any complexity, and his heart just wasn't in it. Greg had thrown him a curveball that he hadn't seen coming. Hell, he hadn't even gotten his glove out or cap on. _Sara_. What the hell was he supposed to do? Or feel? He flipped his office light on, and flopped into his chair out of sheer exhaustion. The envelope of photos peeked at him from the corner of his desk, and he cautiously opened it. There were four photos in total, two of which he hadn't even seen yet. As he flipped through them, he decided his earlier assessment was correct – Sara was happy. Seeing her as a mother invoked feelings in him that he didn't know were possible and that left him completely unsettled. The other two photos were obviously images Greg had taken with a zoom lens, close-up shots of Sara's son. He was an adorable baby. But, could he really be Grissom's? The thoughts and questions confused and hurt him more than he anticipated. But there was something else there too…hope. Deep in thought, Grissom didn't even notice Catherine's entrance until she was seated across from him talking.

"Earth to Gil! Didn't you hear me?"

"Um, no. Sorry Cath. Just wrapped up in this." As he tried to deftly hide the photos Catherine grabbed one from him.

"Huh, cute baby. What is this?"

"It's, uh, from a case."

"I didn't realize we had any cases involving kids right now."

"We don't…not really. But the kid belongs to a suspect." Why the hell wouldn't she just let this go?

"Gotcha. Well, I wrapped up the 619 and logged all of the evidence in to Jeff. Unless there are any new cases or you need help on this case, I was going to knock off a little early and try to grab some breakfast with Lindsay."

Taking the photo back from her and putting it in the envelope with the others, he responded with relief. "No, no. I'm good. Go ahead. Tell Lindsay that her favorite uncle says hello."

The next few days were tumultuous and exhausting. Grissom was overworked, underslept, and emotionally fried. The number of new cases was ridiculous and virtually everyone had pulled doubles or triples. Work helped to keep his mind off of Sara and the whole situation, but as soon as he was home he could think of nothing else. As he prepared his breakfast and mentally worked out how he would spend the next two days off, the doorbell surprised him. Placing the strawberries and strainer back in the sink, he toweled off his hands and headed to open the door. As soon as he opened the door, Catherine brushed past him, heading straight to the kitchen with her bag of bagels and coffee in hand.

"Come on in Catherine…" he muttered to her retreating form.

"Hey Gil. I thought we would do breakfast. I brought bagels and coffee. Oh, good…cut some of those strawberries for me, will you?"

"Uh…sure. Why don't you toast a couple of bagels while I do that." Despite his mild annoyance at her constant presumptuousness, he acquiesced and they worked side by side preparing breakfast. Eventually Catherine slid onto a barstool, ready to eat. Grissom remained standing across from her, stirring his coffee.

"Are you gonna come sit down?"

"Nah…I'm good. I'll just eat here. This is decaf, right?"

"Of course. I knew you would need to crash soon. This has been one hell of a week. "

"Yeah, thank God for excellent co-workers and two days off in a row," he smirked at her over his coffee mug.

"I'm sure…lucky bastard. I don't have a day off another, what? Three days?.,,Hey! You still working on this case?" Catherine asked as she picked up a photo of Sara's baby that he had left sitting out on his counter.

"Uh, yeah. Still working. Hey Cath…what…how old do you think that baby is?"

Looking carefully at the phote, she pasued, finally offering,"Well, 6 months maybe? It's hard to tell from a photo. Maybe not…maybe four or five months? Why?" Her response was met with silence. Her gaze lifted to find him staring off into space, a faraway look in his eyes. "Gil…what is this case?"

"Gil?"

"Um..it's…I…it's not a case, Cath." The unasked question hung in the air, as she stared at him waiting for him to continue.

"So…4-5 months old?" he muttered absently.

"Yes…why? Gil what's going on? Who is this baby?" She asked with obvious concern. She knew that kids always really affected him, but he had said this wasn't a case.

"I…think…he's…well, I am fairly certain that he is my son."

"What?! How the hell…who…your son?"

At her questioning look, Grissom remained quiet, unable to offer anything further.

"Okay…well, how certain are you?" when he offered no response, she finally asked the question he knew was coming. "Well, can you at least tell me who his mother is?"

Grissom didn't answer, but grabbed the envelope with the remaining pictures from his stack of papers on the island and handed it to Catherine. She took it and simply looked back at him. When he motioned for her to open it, she did so and said nothing as she stared at the remaining photos, pictures of Sara and her son. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she looked up at him.

"Sara?" He simply nodded. "But how…I mean…is this why she left? God, Gil, I…I didn't even know that you two were together."

"We weren't. Not really. We…it's complicated. I loved her Catherine. And I…fucked it up. And she left."

"So…did she, I mean…why do you think he is your son? I guess if he is like 4 months old, and if she was pregnant when she left…yeah, the timing is there," she said mentally calculating the likelihood.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I just…I don't know. I would like to think that she would tell me if he was my son. But, I don't know. Not with how it ended, how she left." His angst was clear and Catherine could see he was weary not just from the crazy workweek. "Catherine, he looks like me. Look at him. He looks like me when I was a baby. I just…I don't know. I don't know. What if he is my son? What the hell do I do? And what if he isn't and I make a complete and total fool of myself?"

Sliding her hand over top of his, she looked into his eyes and answered as honestly as possible. "Gil, I don't pretend to know what happened between the two of you or why. And I can't say whether this is something Sara would ever have kept from you. But I do know you. I know the kind of man that you are and how deeply you feel, despite what you lead others to believe. I know that you love her – even now. And I know that she loved you from the moment she set foot in Vegas. But I also know that if you don't go to her, now, and find out the truth – whatever it may be – that this will eat you alive. You will never forgive yourself and it will kill you."

He nodded, slowly, letting her words sink in. "Yeah."

"Go to her. Talk to her. You have the next 2 days off. Hell, you could fly out tonight. Where is she anyway?"

"Boston. She went back to Boston. Greg was at the AAFS conference there last week…and he saw her. He gave me the pictures and told me to do what I needed to do."

"Wow. What are the odds? You know…things happen for a reason, Gil. Maybe this is just the kick in the ass you needed. Go talk to her." With that she rose, gave him a long, needed hug, and told him to keep her posted. "Let me know if you need anything, and if you need any more time off. I'm here for you."

"Thanks Cath." He walked her to the door, slouching back against it after it closed behind her.

It was overwhelming. All of it. Sara. That night. Their love. Her leaving. Seeing her face again. Her baby. Their baby? Only one thing was certain.

He was going to Boston.


	3. Chapter 3

The reviews are very much appreciated…keep them coming! I think this may be the missing piece that you have been looking for. Hope you enjoy!

Ch. 3

The flight and hotel reservations had come easily and swiftly, much to his surprise. It left him no time to sleep, and with the flight being 2 hours away there was little time to pack before rushing out the door to McCarran. The five-hour flight to Boston would give him time to get some rest, if his churning mind would allow it. It would also give him time to plan out exactly what he would say to Sara.

As he finally boarded his flight and he and the other passengers awaited takeoff, he could do little else but think of the journey he was making. The poignancy of it was not lost on him; he knew he was making the craziest and likely one of the most important decisions of his life in chasing Sara down in Boston. What if the baby wasn't his? What if he _was_? He wasn't quite certain which prospect scared him more. Was he prepared to be a father?

The woman sitting next to him attempted small talk about the impending rain and storms in Boston. Grissom deftly persuaded her to leave him alone by responding that he hoped it held off as such weather was detrimental to blood, semen, saliva, and insect sampling on corpses. _There_, he mentally congratulated himself – _don't think she will bother me again_. His thoughts did return to rain, however, as he remembered that fateful night which had perhaps led to this very moment.

After the traumatic events at the asylum, he had needed to see her. He had needed to verify that she was okay. So, he had shown up on her doorstep in the rain, desperate to see her with his own eyes, to prove to himself that Adam Trent had not taken her from him. When he knocked on her door, she opened it and although he was certain she was surprised, she said nothing. She invited him in and they stood there, next to her kitchen island. Sara was freshly showered in her tank and yoga pants, and he stood in front of her dripping wet from the rain, staring at her. She knew him, knew it would take him time to get to what had brought him there. He was a man of few, but powerful words. It was when she moved to pull her wet hair into a ponytail that he had been spurred to action. The sight of the bruising on the right side of her neck was his breaking point. He inched closer, wordlessly, and stroked the tips of his fingers gently over her neck, the only words uttered were quiet and raspy…"he hurt you." She nodded, subtly, unable to form any words under his intimate touch. And then his lips were on her neck, sweetly, innocently, ever so lightly, barely touching, kissing her wound. His right hand found its way to her cheek as he inched even closer to her with his entire body. When his tongue slipped through his lips and tasted the skin over her bruise, everything changed. She then began to feel him rain soft kisses all along her neck. He gently inched his way toward her mouth leaving a trail of sensual, soft kisses. When finally he reached her mouth, it was a maelstrom of heat and passion and longing, and it swept them both away. It was like a dam had burst, unable to contain the wild current any longer. Their bodies melded together, there in her kitchen, from tongue to toe, over and over, as the heat enveloped them. Eventually, his hand moved under her shirt as she gently pushed him backward, guiding him to her bedroom. They made it there without fumbling and soon all clothing was shed and he lay on top of her in the bed. When he entered her, there was no speech, no conversation, no proclamations of love, but he knew in that moment that she had branded him as hers forever and vice versa. He heard the rain pelting and the thunder cracking as he finally spilled into her, both of them delirious with the force of their climax and the gestalt of the entire experience. They fell asleep, together, in her bed. He awoke a few hours later, and then gently woke her with his sensual kisses, rekindling their desire. By the time he left that evening, telling her that he needed to return home and shower for work, they had made love three times. He had given her his heart and soul repeatedly, wordlessly. If only he had known then what a coward he would be when he was faced with the reality of his decisions under the fluorescent lights of the lab.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time his plane touched down in Boston and he had checked into his hotel, it was nearly 9pm local time. _Too late to go see her_. He had used his lab credentials to enter the Federal database in order to obtain her address – not something entirely ethical, but oh well. Let Ecklie fire him. Tomorrow was Saturday, and hopefully she was off. If not…hell, he hadn't even considered that. He had been surprised to learn that she didn't work at the Boston lab - what else would she be doing? Sara was such an accomplished, brilliant CSI he could hardly imagine her in any other role. With these and other thoughts swimming around in his mind, he finally drifted off into a fitful sleep.

When morning came, Grissom showered, ate and made his way to his rental car, heading to Sara's address in Brookline. He knew little about Boston, but as the car maneuvered onto her street he was utterly charmed. Brookline was a picturesque, quaint area with brownstones lining the streets. _A good place to raise a family_, his initial thought. When he arrived at her home he parked, turned the engine off and sat there, unsure of what to do.

When he had finally stewed long enough, he made his way to the front porch and rang the doorbell, his heart in his throat. He was not prepared for what happened next. The door opened, but he was not greeted by Sara, but rather a tall, dark, good-looking man he knew to be at least 10 years his junior. Grissom's heart sank with the realization that maybe she didn't live here after all.

"Can I help you?"

"Um, yeah. I…well I think I may have the wrong address. I am looking…I am looking for S-" and he was immediately cut off by the muscled younger man.

"For Sara? Yeah, she's here. Come on in." As he entered behind the man, he immediately regretted the trip, feeling both nauseous and humiliated. This must be her husband. After glancing at his left hand, he amended that thought. Boyfriend? Fiancé? The father of her baby, anyway. What the hell was he going to do now?

"Have a seat…Sara's just getting out of the shower. I'll let her know you are here." Grissom was left sitting in a modern, sleek, clean living room in the front of the narrow brownstone. It felt very…Sara. The color pallet, the sense of warmth and comfort, it felt like a home to him. When annoyingly handsome man (as Grissom had dubbed him) returned he had thrown on a jacket and had a motorcycle helmet in his hands.

"Sara will be down in a second. I am just heading out. I'm Brad, by the way," he extended his hand.

"Grissom. Gil Grissom." So, annoyingly handsome man had an annoying name. _Brad_.

"Yeah, I know," was the cryptic response as Brad shook his hand and then headed out the door. Grissom stared after him, somewhat puzzled. Before stepping off the porch, Brad turned and stuck his head back through the door. "Oh, would you mind telling Sara that I probably won't be back tonight…hot date," and with a wink Brad was back out the door.

What the…? Grissom got no further than that when he was startled out his confusion by a surprised gasp and whispered, "Grissom?" Turning, he finally saw her. Sara. His heart leapt and his stomach churned. Only one woman in the world had the power to evoke such a reaction from him.

"Sara…hello." He went to her and stood just inches away from her, craving her closeness. The moment was awkward, tense and rife with an undercurrent of passion and things left unresolved.

"What…what are you doing here?" She still couldn't quite believe this was happening.

"I…I wanted to see you. To talk to you. And, uh, I was in the area…" That's it Gil, just lie to her. Great start. "You look beautiful. You…your hair. It's long." What an idiot.

"Um, thanks. Let's, uh, just have a seat. Do you want something to drink? I can bring you something." She appeared nervous suddenly, and seemed anxious to keep him in the living room. He sat down on the couch, equally as nervous and watched as she took a seat in the chair opposite him.

"How are you?" she asked, still on edge.

"I'm good. The lab is good. I mean, it's not the same without you, but…you know. We all miss you. And Ecklie is…Ecklie." He smirked, trying to put her at ease, trying to relieve some of the tension.

"Yeah," she responded, unsure of what to say. The man sitting opposite her had just turned her entire world upside down in the span of about 2 minutes. Go figure. She had loved him for as long as she could remember, and nothing, absolutely nothing would ever change that. Especially now. Things may not have worked out as she had planned, but he was forever a part of her, and would always have the power to affect her like no one else. As the quiet stretched on and the awkwardness and tension proliferated, neither of them knew what to say. Finally, unable to handle it any longer, Sara spoke. "What are you doing here Gil? Why are you here? Not that it isn't nice to see you, but…why?"

He wasn't quite prepared for her directness, but he knew that they would have to broach the topic at some point. Mustering the courage that he was able to, he began slowly. "Well, I…have this and…I…here." He handed her the envelope gesturing for her to open it.

She took the envelope from him, unsure of what was inside. In her heart, she had a sinking suspicion that she did know what it was. Opening the envelope and sliding the first photograph out, she was confronted with the image of her son smiling back at her. It was a picture she had never seen, but she knew when it was taken. Last week at the park. She and Jack had taken a walk and then sat near the pond on a blanket and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Who the hell had taken this? And how did Grissom get it? She looked to him, eyebrow raised, waiting for him to say something.

"He's…he's beautiful, Sara." At her simple nod and downcast eyes, he continued. "He…is your son." He wasn't really sure whether he intended it to be a statement or a question, but she responded with a whispered, "yes."

"Is he…Sara…he's…he's my son too…isn't he?" The words were so hard for him, taking every ounce of strength he had to utter them. He was unprepared for the force with which her response hit him, the despair and heartache it caused.

"No, he isn't."


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you for all of the reviews…and please keep them coming! I struggled with this chapter but very much enjoyed writing it at the same time. I am really struggling with where to go from here…how long to make this, what my end point is, etc. Advice and thoughts welcome! _

_On to chapter 5…_

He felt like he had been punched in the gut. The breath had been literally forced from his lungs and he felt like he would pass out from lack of oxygen. He stared at her, in complete shock. His mouth opened, closed, and opened again before he was finally able to manage, "Um…wh…Sara…" When she didn't respond, he tried again, attempting to compose himself. "You're sure? I mean, the timing…and he looks…I really thought…" was all he could manage before she finally snapped.

"He isn't your son. He is _MY_ son." Wait. What? Was she saying what he thought she was saying?

"Sara…I just want a straight answer here. If I am his father, I deserve to know the truth." he nearly shouted.

"The truth? The truth, Grissom, is that he has a biological father who is a complete and total coward. A man who toyed with me off and on for years, pulling me in and pushing me away for amusement. A man who knew that I loved him, and a man who took advantage of that, mislead me, used me and then threw it all away like it meant nothing to him. If that is what you mean by _father_, then yeah, I guess you are!" She launched out of the chair, pacing around the room, obviously furious. "He is _my_ son. _Mine_. No one else's. _I _have raised him. _I_ have taken care of him. I don't need anyone else."

"Jesus, Sara! How the hell could you do this? How could…I have a son and you never bothered to tell me!" and with that Grissom was on his feet, directly challenging her with his anger. "How could you? How could you keep him from me? He _does_ need me! He needs a father. Not this Brad guy, either. And I want to see him! Where is my son?"

She huffed a sarcastic laugh in his face and spat back at him, "He isn't even here right now, he is at the sitter's house." She knew she had to keep this conversation quiet, or their shouting would wake the baby that she had just lied to him about. Starting again, just as enraged but a little quieter, she challenged him. "And are you kidding me? Seriously? How could _I_? More like, why would I tell you? Grissom…I had no idea that I was pregnant when I left Vegas. But there was no way in hell that I was going to tell you when I found out. You used me. You knew how I felt about you - have _always_ felt about you - and you used me. You came to me! You made love to me! I didn't initiate that, you did! And then you call me in to your office of all places and tell me that it was all a huge mistake, that you suffered a lapse in judgment that could negatively affect the lab?! As if that wasn't bad enough, you avoided me like the damn plague after that. What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn't take it, so I left. Why would I have told you that I was pregnant? You obviously wanted nothing to do with me…would you want to be tied to me forever by a baby you didn't want either?" Her words pierced him and his mind was working overtime to keep up with her barrage. He launched confidently into his response.

"That is not what happened! That night was about nothing but love Sara, nothing else. But then I behaved like a damn coward. I respect you. You are brilliant. And if anyone ever found out about what happened, about us, it would kill me to think that people might assume that you got where you are because of sleeping with me and not because you are as talented and hardworking as you are. I didn't want that for you. And…yes, I freaked out. Sara, I am a very private person who likes a degree of control. It scared the hell out of me to feel so deeply for someone else, to give that control over to someone else. I screwed up. And by the time I figured it out, you were already long gone." His words were not shouted at her, but were impassioned. It killed him as he saw her standing there, crying, and he reached out for her. She jerked away abruptly. "Sara…"

"Don't! I am done letting you toy with me Grissom. Because it isn't about me anymore. It's about my son. He is my one and only priority in this world. And if you think for even a second that I am going to let you into his life and let you toy with his emotions, use him, and then walk out, then you obviously don't know anything about me." He hadn't quite decided which hurt more – her unwillingness to let him be a part of his child's life, the fact that she thought so little of him or the bits of truth in her words. It hurt. Excruciatingly so. Did he deserve it? Maybe he did.

He softened, somewhat defeated, and began again. "I never meant to hurt you. I know I did, but it wasn't my intention. And for what it's worth, I _am_ sorry. But Sara, he is my son…please. You can't keep him from me. I have paid the price for my actions all of this time just as you have. It hurts and it has torn me apart. But don't make our son pay the price for my mistakes. We both grew up without our fathers. Is that really what you want for him?" He stepped forward, wiping her tears from her cheek as he spoke. She didn't back away - that was a good sign, wasn't it? "I want to see him…"

"Grissom…I can't…you…"

"Sara, please…"

"No."

"Argh..Sara…and who the hell is Brad, anyway?" he blurted, changing topics when he could see he was getting nowhere with her.

"Brad is my brother. Well, sort of. Brad and I were in the same foster home together for almost three years when I was younger. It was the longest amount of time either of us spent in one place. He is the closest thing I have to true family, and it has been wonderful to have him back in my life."

Nodding softly, and feeling immensely relieved, Grissom wasn't certain how to continue.

"Griss…where did you get these pictures? Who took them?"

"I…Greg. He was here for the AAFS conference, saw you in the park and, well…" he trailed off.

"Wow. I wish he had said something to me. Had talked to me. Maybe…" she too trailed off, not certain she wanted to head down that path at this point.

"Sara, please. I want to be a part-" but Grissom was cut off by a faint cry from somewhere down the hall. His eyes moved to the hall and then snapped back to Sara. "I thought you said he wasn't here?"

he shook her head softly at the question in his eyes. "No…"

"Sara," he begged.

"No…"

"Sara, _please_…I want to see my son…_our_ son…please," he nearly whispered to her. His voice cracked with the raw emotion, and he reached out and stroked her cheek, begging her with his eyes. If she didn't know any better - didn't know him better - she would have sworn she saw tears there, in the corners of his eyes. She didn't answer. She couldn't. She nodded, barely perceptible, but it was enough.

He looked questioningly down the hall and waited for her to lead him. When she finally moved, she turned and headed down the hallway wordlessly, him trailing behind her. At the end of the hall she gently opened the door on the right, slowly entering to the increasing volume of cries. Grissom entered behind her and watched as she walked through the pale blue room decorated in moons and stars and approached the crib. For what seemed like the hundredth time in the last few days his breath caught in his throat and the raw emotion he felt threatened to swallow him whole. He watched as she reached into the crib, simultaneously lifting and soothing their son. Once cradled safely in her arms and settled, she turned to him with tears fresh on her face. Grissom reached out tentatively and took the baby from her. For his part, the baby did not cry but looked at Grissom and then back at Sara as if to ask what exactly was going on. She managed a smile, tears flowing anew, and whispered, "Jack…this is you dad." The emotion of it all was almost too much to bear, especially when Sara glanced up to see a matching trail of tears on Grissom's face. He had never felt so much before in his life. Never so much love, sadness, excitement, pain and joy.

And just like that he was a father.


End file.
